DAY 13: Trust Your Instincts

A long time ago I learned a hard lesson: trust your gut.

I was in a psychologically abusive relationship where I suspected that my partner was unfaithful. I did everything in my power to pick up on the clues, or even find them, but there was no real concrete evidence to make me believe it for real. One day I was poolside at my ex’s apartment in Miami when his best friend’s girl let it slip about this woman I had suspected he was unfaithful with. As my ex’s boy’s girlfriend spoke, I let her tell me everything and then I marched upstairs and confronted him. He first yelled at her, to which she rightfully yelled back and then stormed out, and then he and I talked. He admitted to everything I had suspected being true and then somehow flipped the situation around on being about me not wanting to get married. I should mention at this point that i was about 19 or 20 and he was 6 years older than me. By the end of the fight, I had packed all of my bags and was ready to go to a friend’s place and somehow, after he turned it around, I was apologizing to him for my lack of commitment.

Manipulation at it’s finest.

The thing is, I had my suspicions the whole time. I didn’t trust him but, because I didn’t have any evidence to support my feelings, I didn’t act on them. I didn’t walk away until the relationship thankfully came to an end three and a half years later, again with a focus on the topic of marriage and my reluctance to be his wife. Still, my gut knew the entire time what I should do from the early stages of the relationship, but I didn’t do it.

Through every relationship you learn lessons, valuable ones at that. And when you walk away from those situations you are left with two choices. Option one, keep moving like you did before you learned the lesson or option two, reap the benefits of having acquired new wisdom and apply it towards your life moving forward. The choice is yours.

Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but it’s always worth it in the end.

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